Well that was a nice little lol.
Basically, After that last lovely post I went ahead and gave in. Again. You really think the going's good until your urges take over. I've discovered another pattern about myself, however, and now I know that it's not oing to happen again.
I go in three week cycles.
Every freaking god hell shit three week mark, I go ahead and give into mindless eating temptation. Really? Am I that weak?
Hell naw.
So, after 3 days of shameless eating (ugh), I got back on the wagon and here we go. Two weeks later I feel as fabulous as I did before. I know that the three week mark is coming up soon. I'm so ready for it.
Another thing I should probably mention is that having a partner to support you is amazing. I have one now, and I feel like this time around, I can't let this person down. I feel like the role model. I need to be true to myself and to them. Don't worry, if you're reading this, I won't let you down. We are on this journey together. As I've said before, anyone reading this, if you'd like someone to talk to, or if you feel the need for support or someone to confide in that knows exactly what you're going through, DO NOT HESITATE to contact me.
v.burnett@hotmail.com
The biggest and most important step about this whole problem solving process is admitting that you do, in fact, have a problem, but that there is also a light at the end of the tunnel. You can overcome it. I'm so close I can taste it. As soon as you're back on track and eating normally and healthily, the weight will go.
Something I should mention: It's not all diet. You need to exercise. Alot. Deal with it.
To anyone who aknowledged this blog, thankyou. Thankyou for the support and kind words. Thankyou to the boy who told me everything I didn't want to hear. I disagree with you still, but I absolutley love and respect that you would say those things to me for my well being, even jeopardising our friendship. I love you for that.
BITCHES BRING ON WEEK THREE.
One Love,
Victo
304 days to go
Showing posts with label vegan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vegan. Show all posts
Friday, December 11, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Day 1 - Optimism
Day 1. So.. 364 days to go.
Please, dear Lord, give me strength.
The first day? It was great actually. I didn't really have enough time to focus on food. I had a crazy day. Lots of music. I'll write about that later.
Maybe I won't.
Okay so here's a list of what I ate today in the order in which they come to my head:
1 plum
1/2 yellow papaya
1 kiwi
2 dates
1 cup cashews/walnuts
greens
1 cup cherry tomatoes
1/2 cucumber
10 baby carrots
1 1/2 cups grapes
alfalfa
balsamic vinegar
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp soy sauce
That was my intake of the day and I felt great. No hunger.
I did, however have this strange thing with my head. I wasn't lightheaded, but something was like.. shifting? It was odd. I think it's just the initial detox working it's magic. We'll see. I really don't have much to say about eating right now because I didn't think about it much today. I just did my stuff and ate when I was hungry. I had lots of fun at the grocery store, though. I think I filled my fridge with like..
Kale.
D:
But! All is good. If you want to read one of the things that made me consider Raw-ism in the first place, this articel by Steve Pavlina is fantastic. Actually, he is just fantastic. I adore him.
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/02/raw-food-diet/
This report shows the pros and cons of going raw. I want to see what will happen to me. I love this challenge. I'm sure I won't be as optimistic later on in the week.. or month, but that's why you guys are here!
..right?
Anyhow. I need to sleep, because I need to regenerate my positive energies.
One love.
Victo
364 days to go
Please, dear Lord, give me strength.
The first day? It was great actually. I didn't really have enough time to focus on food. I had a crazy day. Lots of music. I'll write about that later.
Maybe I won't.
Okay so here's a list of what I ate today in the order in which they come to my head:
1 plum
1/2 yellow papaya
1 kiwi
2 dates
1 cup cashews/walnuts
greens
1 cup cherry tomatoes
1/2 cucumber
10 baby carrots
1 1/2 cups grapes
alfalfa
balsamic vinegar
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp soy sauce
That was my intake of the day and I felt great. No hunger.
I did, however have this strange thing with my head. I wasn't lightheaded, but something was like.. shifting? It was odd. I think it's just the initial detox working it's magic. We'll see. I really don't have much to say about eating right now because I didn't think about it much today. I just did my stuff and ate when I was hungry. I had lots of fun at the grocery store, though. I think I filled my fridge with like..
Kale.
D:
But! All is good. If you want to read one of the things that made me consider Raw-ism in the first place, this articel by Steve Pavlina is fantastic. Actually, he is just fantastic. I adore him.
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/02/raw-food-diet/
This report shows the pros and cons of going raw. I want to see what will happen to me. I love this challenge. I'm sure I won't be as optimistic later on in the week.. or month, but that's why you guys are here!
..right?
Anyhow. I need to sleep, because I need to regenerate my positive energies.
One love.
Victo
364 days to go
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Beginning
Okay, world.
I have a psycological problem.
I have an eating disorder.
And today.
That's all going to change.
First off, let me introduce myself to those of you who don't know me already.
My name is Victoria, I go by Victo. I'm a 16 year old girl from Canada. My passion and reason for living is music. Producing electronic dance music, to be precise. (I use FL Studio Producer and Mixcraft, saving up for Ableton and can spin decks.) I love exercise, singing and performing. I'm in grade 12. I have a really really offensive sense of humor and can't stand people who can't laugh at life. Here's my story.
_________________________________
Over the past month I've developped a form of anorexia that involves binge eating (eating until you think you'll die) and then not eating for 3 days. I'm miserable. Bingeing is like a trance. It's emotional. I lead a very very stressful life and my ambitions often leave me feeling lost and without a plan. And I hate that. The one thing that's always been structured for me has been my eating. In 2006 I weighed 147lbs, my ultimate high. I was 13. I started the Bonnie diet (my personal trainer who's a professional fitness and figure champion, this diet involves lost of chicken and asparagus and bok choy and rice cakes and that's it) and did it for a year. I basically ate the same exact thing everyday and exercised alot. I lost 17lbs, and was at 130lbs. I looked totally different, and felt great. Then I tried weaning myself off of it and just alorie counting. That combined with the infamous 3 day diet brought me even lower, to the point that I reached my ultimate low of 119lbs in August of this year.
Now. Then the bingeing started. I decided that I wanted to become a singer. I wanted to be a producer of my own electronic dance music and to do what I love. This was a hard decision. I'll post another post about that later.
With this decision came alot of tough emotions for me, and I felt a loss of control, so I turned to food; the one thing I had control over. To make a long story short, I've kept it a secret. I'm so ashamed.
I'M THE ONE MY FRIENDS GO TO FOR EATING ADVICE. HOW COULD I DO THIS TO MYSELF. I AM A FAILURE.
These are the things going on in my head. As I said before, it's a trance. I eat and eat and eat until my sides hurt and I want to purge and I can't even sleep and my heart is beating fast.. Feverish. It's a disease. People laugh at bingeing and don't take it seriously. It's a problem, people. Face it.
Now. With this cycle, I've gained back 11lbs. I'm hovering just under 130lbs.. and hating it.
I've come to the decision today, to let everyone know about my disorder so that we can work together to help me overcome it. I am going to change. I just can't do it in silence.
So I've started this blog to keep my decisions and successes and failures logged.
Victo, how are you going to change?
Well, my dearest friends. Tomorrow morning, I am a raw vegan. This means that I will only eat raw fruits and veggies, not cooked over 50 degrees C. This is a life changing decision for me. On this blog, I'm going to log all of the difficulties I encounter and how I feel.
I really hope that if someone is in the same situation as I am will maybe take the steps with me so that we can cure ourselves together, be good to our bodies and be free to live! My goal is to go 365 days raw, and to blog at least 3 times a week. If you email me, I'll send you everything you need to know about going raw and I'll be a friend and we can support eachother. v.burnett@hotmail.com
I know I am not alone, and it would be amazing to hear what people have to say. Admitting my disorder is the most embarassing thing that I think I've ever done, but I also think it's the only way to be healthy again. I can do this.
I can do this.
Wish me luck!
Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life as a happy, healthy, performing, creating,
RAW VEGAN!
:D
All my love, Victo
I have a psycological problem.
I have an eating disorder.
And today.
That's all going to change.
First off, let me introduce myself to those of you who don't know me already.
My name is Victoria, I go by Victo. I'm a 16 year old girl from Canada. My passion and reason for living is music. Producing electronic dance music, to be precise. (I use FL Studio Producer and Mixcraft, saving up for Ableton and can spin decks.) I love exercise, singing and performing. I'm in grade 12. I have a really really offensive sense of humor and can't stand people who can't laugh at life. Here's my story.
_________________________________
Over the past month I've developped a form of anorexia that involves binge eating (eating until you think you'll die) and then not eating for 3 days. I'm miserable. Bingeing is like a trance. It's emotional. I lead a very very stressful life and my ambitions often leave me feeling lost and without a plan. And I hate that. The one thing that's always been structured for me has been my eating. In 2006 I weighed 147lbs, my ultimate high. I was 13. I started the Bonnie diet (my personal trainer who's a professional fitness and figure champion, this diet involves lost of chicken and asparagus and bok choy and rice cakes and that's it) and did it for a year. I basically ate the same exact thing everyday and exercised alot. I lost 17lbs, and was at 130lbs. I looked totally different, and felt great. Then I tried weaning myself off of it and just alorie counting. That combined with the infamous 3 day diet brought me even lower, to the point that I reached my ultimate low of 119lbs in August of this year.
Now. Then the bingeing started. I decided that I wanted to become a singer. I wanted to be a producer of my own electronic dance music and to do what I love. This was a hard decision. I'll post another post about that later.
With this decision came alot of tough emotions for me, and I felt a loss of control, so I turned to food; the one thing I had control over. To make a long story short, I've kept it a secret. I'm so ashamed.
I'M THE ONE MY FRIENDS GO TO FOR EATING ADVICE. HOW COULD I DO THIS TO MYSELF. I AM A FAILURE.
These are the things going on in my head. As I said before, it's a trance. I eat and eat and eat until my sides hurt and I want to purge and I can't even sleep and my heart is beating fast.. Feverish. It's a disease. People laugh at bingeing and don't take it seriously. It's a problem, people. Face it.
Now. With this cycle, I've gained back 11lbs. I'm hovering just under 130lbs.. and hating it.
I've come to the decision today, to let everyone know about my disorder so that we can work together to help me overcome it. I am going to change. I just can't do it in silence.
So I've started this blog to keep my decisions and successes and failures logged.
Victo, how are you going to change?
Well, my dearest friends. Tomorrow morning, I am a raw vegan. This means that I will only eat raw fruits and veggies, not cooked over 50 degrees C. This is a life changing decision for me. On this blog, I'm going to log all of the difficulties I encounter and how I feel.
I really hope that if someone is in the same situation as I am will maybe take the steps with me so that we can cure ourselves together, be good to our bodies and be free to live! My goal is to go 365 days raw, and to blog at least 3 times a week. If you email me, I'll send you everything you need to know about going raw and I'll be a friend and we can support eachother. v.burnett@hotmail.com
I know I am not alone, and it would be amazing to hear what people have to say. Admitting my disorder is the most embarassing thing that I think I've ever done, but I also think it's the only way to be healthy again. I can do this.
I can do this.
Wish me luck!
Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life as a happy, healthy, performing, creating,
RAW VEGAN!
:D
All my love, Victo
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